I’m in the mood to recieve a cheque for six hundred thousand dollars
Parachute for Sale. Used once. Never opened.
Daughter: I’m really sorry mom, I got an F in Geography.
Mother: Never mind, darling, you have cancer anyways.
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
An artist asked the gallery manager if anybody asked about his paintings.
“Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” said the owner. “The good one is that a gentleman liked your work and asked if its value would appreciate after your death. When I said yes, he bought all 20 of your paintings.”
“But that’s fantastic,” whooped the artist. “What could possibly be the bad news?”
“The gentleman was your doctor.”